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flothunderstorms · 3 days ago

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FAVOURITE BAND

𝑰𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 𝑨𝒍𝒆𝒙 𝒊𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒙 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒘𝒉𝒐’𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒅 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒐𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒎𝒂𝒏’𝒔 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒏𝒅.

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

Warnings: Well, I honestly don’t know? Only that Alex is petty and a sappy romantic at the same time.

Word Count: 6.5k

The sky is crying lightning.

No pun intended. Literally, the rain is pouring heavily with the sound of thunder shaking the insides of my room.

It’s gloomy. It’s dark. It’s cold. And it’s only 10 in the morning.

In the past, I never got to appreciate the weather. I never got to notice every single droplet that hits the pavement nor feel the cool breeze of air as the storm unravels.

Oh how it’s nice to finally be not on the move.

Is it really?

I shake my head to get rid of that nagging voice in my head.

That voice that seems to mock me and question every single decision I make in my life ever since I broke up with him.

He who must not be named.

Okay, the ‘him’ is Alex Turner.

He is practically everywhere. There is no way I could not known his presence nor not a day I’m not hearing his voice as their songs play on the radio every single day on every damn radio station nor see his face as it is plastered around London and is on every social media sites as their band keeps on skyrocketing its popularity in the world.

And I’m happy. Of course I’m happy. I’ll always be proud of him. But God, that was why we broke up.

It’s too much.

Or is it?

Of course it’s too much! We were always on the move. Everything is about him. I support him. I fly with him. I stayed with him. I felt bad that I never had a proper job and I’m always on tour with him and free tagging along and it felt like I’m losing myself. Albums after albums. Tour after tour. Awards after awards. I’m happy for him for getting what he finally deserves as I’ve been here since day 1, since the debut album.

But who am I? What am I to him?

I’m just known to be Alex Turner’s girlfriend. That I’m nothing but his comfort while on tour. The girl people crop out in photos and replace their faces with. Honestly, I have no grudge over that.

But then came the new Album. Their Fifth album. It was different from their previous album and I was enthralled.

But then he said:

“It’s all about you, peach,” Alex says as he rubs his nose lovingly on my cheek.

I chuckle nervously, avoiding his gaze when he places his hand on my cheek to stare directly at me. He doesn’t know all the death threats and nasty remarks I have read earlier online as I have promised him I won’t ever look at them before.

But I can’t help it. All of this just because I loved a boy?

"I wouldn't if I were yous and are you sure 'bout the tunes?" I smile uneasily.

His brows furrow and uncertainty flash around his brown eyes.

“Don’t you like it? Are they shite?”

I immediately shake my head. ��No, no! God, no! Al, you’re one of the best musicians out there and I’m sure your tour ticket sales and monthly listeners speaks for it. I just, well, most of your fan base hates me so I don’t think it would be wise to let the world know you wrote these songs about me.”

His stare deepens and seriousness takes over his feature.

“I don’t care people say about me nor to us. I love you and they should get over it. Why should I hide the fact that I made these songs about my girlfriend? The love of my life? My inspiration?” He states in all seriousness.

“Good to know you call me when you’re high,” I joke, his features softening.

“Okay not all songs are about you obviously but majority, you. You’re my muse.”

We broke up with not really knowing what and how it happened.

Everything just changed. It was extra busy. It was extra heavy. It was extra suffocating. It was chill busy before, but since the new album came out, he suddenly had this different approach which I support as I know he loves to embody every song he plays and for this tour he’s some rock ‘n roll rockstar, but everything just felt different for some reason. This time it is dark. It’s more loud at the after party. It was more alcohol and at times some drugs that ensue afterwards.

It’s too messy and chaotic, and I realise I need to breathe. I need to stop. I need order.

I need to break up with him before we both bring each other on the ground with no one to lift the other and save from falling at the pits of chasm.

“And you should get a real job this is not gonna work out!” I shout from the other side of the room as I pack my things with blurred vision from tears I have been keeping at bay not to fall freely on my face.

I don’t know why I said it when in reality it should be me who should get a real job.

Alex is just standing there, confused. Honestly, I am too. I don’t know what we’re fighting about. I don’t know what the argument is at all. I don’t know why we’re screaming at each other’s face.

And we’ve been like this for weeks now.

“I'm gonna write a song, hit single, baby, something I can do to prove you wrong. This is my job. This is a real job! I love my job!” Alex hits back.

“Your job to snort cocaine off someone’s thighs at the after party of your show?” I grit my teeth in agitation.

He rolls his eyes and throws his arms in the air.

“You were there! It was a dare! You said I should go for it!” He widens his eyes as he reasons out.

“What should I even reply when everyone is staring at me expectantly to agree already and if I say no I know this will be a topic on the news that I’m your strict girlfriend that you should cut off as I’m ruining your rockstar image?!” I bite back.

“Well, you’re no fun!” Alex replies childishly.

I bite the insides of my cheek from refraining from replying anymore because I know it would be useless. He’s high and I don’t know how high he is nor if his mind is still grounded on this world. This is just a never ending cycle of conversation that all would be forgotten tomorrow day, and I sigh at that realisation.

Maybe it’s time to end the cycle.

And now I’m here all alone on a gloomy afternoon wrapped in duvet laying on my queen sized bed.

Boring.

Maybe this is what I need: Boring. Not on the move. It’s nice. No backstage. No aeroplanes. No more hotels. No champagnes. No fucking every after show and even before he goes on stage. No travelling. No discovering new places together. No being tourists in another country. No post adrenaline every after show. No parties. No clubs.

No Alex Turner.

Maybe I don’t need it. Maybe I never needed it. Maybe I am happy. Boring. Yes. Yes this is what I need.

I need common. Boring. Normal. I need normalcy. I need plain. I need not to be on the move. I need… I need Alex.

No, get it over yourself.

Just in time as if the universe is making some sick joke about me, my phone began to ring.

Oh, it’s Ben. Wow.

I accept the call and smile widely, as if he’s seeing me from the other side of the call.

“Good afternoon, love!”

His voice is lighter. His accent is that of proper stereotypical British accent.

I’m missing the deep raspy voice with a tinge of Sheffield accent.

Nope. Shut up.

“Hey, Ben! What’s up?”

“Well, just wanna ask if you have any plans tonight? You know, for a third date,” he giggles.

He giggled.

He giggled like he is hiding something mischievously from me.

I scrunch my nose and hit myself mentally for picking every move he does and start to compare it with Alex.

“No! I’m free. I have nothing to do,” I say with a hint of sarcasm to myself. Of course, you are free now. You have nothing to do now. You are boring now.

“Well, it’s settled! I’ll pick you up at 6? We’re going somewhere!” Ben announces with much enthusiasm that I feel a slight of guilt for not being able to reciprocate.

“Ooh, where to? Dress code?”

“It’s a secret! It’s my favourite place. Just wear something casual,” he once again giggles.

I bid him goodbye after agreeing and end the call.

Usually my night before would consist of backstage romance and now… this. A date with a guy who giggles and asking me out to go to his favourite place which I have no idea of just to be pecked on the lips at the end of it. Don’t get me wrong, Ben is cute. Ben is nice. Ben is super respectful. God, he was even shaking at our first kiss which was on the second date. He was sweating on the first date just to ask me if we can hold hands together. I wonder what will happen on this third date tonight.

Maybe I’ll get laid. I sure God hope so. It’s been months… I badly need to get laid.

With Ben or with Alex?

Okay I need to get up and get moving before my mind wanders off on that memory in the past. I am touch starved. I am touch deprived. I don’t want to go there because I should be moving forward.

But God do I miss him. Especially at night.

I start to get ready and eat something light. I put on my black slip dress and some tights, just in case Ben’s favourite place is outside because it’s still cold. I pull off my old trusty cheetah print coat before slipping on some boots and flicking off the lights in my room.

The doorbell rings loudly and that’s my cue to go downstairs. I opened the front door and there he is.

“You look lovely,” Ben greets, kissing my cheeks in the process. He held a bouquet of flowers in front of him and I gratefully took it. They are pink roses.

Alex used to give me tulips. I love tulips. I hate roses.

Maybe I need to start liking roses now because I can’t keep throwing all the bouquet of roses Ben keeps giving me.

“Let me just put these roses on a flower vase before we head out.”

The journey to his favourite place started. It was silent inside the car, and I felt uneasy as it’s too quiet and decided to open the radio to fill the silence. The radio started to scan for available radio channel stations and I sighed in relief as one has been found.

“And that was Little Things by One Direction! Now let’s turn the mood up this evening as this next song is ‘R U Mine? By Arctic Monkeys!”

My blood freezes cold.

The opening lyrics fills the car and I hear Ben gasps out loud.

“Holy shit! I love this song!” He says while turning his head briefly to tell me directly. He starts to sing along to the lyrics and do some air drums while I am still frozen on my seat as I am reminded how Alex’s voice sounds like.

How much do you miss him?

“Don’t you like this song?” Ben genuinely asks in concern and I finally move to look at him. I gave him a fake smile and shake my head.

“No! I don’t even know who they are,” I laugh awkwardly.

“Oh that’s perfect! I love this band! They are called Arctic Monkeys! I thought you’d at least know their frontman, he’s quite hot on the ladies,” he jokes, nudging me briefly.

I grimace at his last sentence but covered it with a slight laugh.

“So, where are you taking me?” I change the subject.

“We’re near there!”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

If it’s even possible, my blood freezes colder as I look at the sight in front of me once we have stopped and Ben parked his car.

His favourite place? I have been here many times before.

It’s an Arctic Monkeys show.

I looked around to see if there’s a camera and this is all some elaborate prank the world has played on me.

“Where are we?” I whisper ask in denial.

“We are going to an Arctic Monkeys’ concert! It’s my favourite place in the world!” Ben giggles, even clapping as he beams at me with so much joy.

Oh, no.

We got out of the car and he takes my hand. I raise my eyebrows slightly at his courage and feel a strap being slid on my wrist. I look at the familiar “VIP” wristband. Not the usual wristband I had before as that was an all access one.

“VIP, huh?” I say in amusement.

“Nothing but the best! They are amazing!” Ben continues to praise the band.

Oh, Ben.

I’m well aware about how my outfit fits in on our whereabouts and I facepalmed myself mentally when I realise I have worn my trusty cheetah print coat. And a slip dress. And my alligator skin boots.

I smile at the sky and narrow my eyes knowingly at whoever deity is up there.

We got past security quickly and oh, the familiar faces of security here that I have to bow my head to not be recognised. Some fans are even looking at my direction and I hope and pray to God no one ever says a thing.

I just want to have a peaceful date with my new man and possibly to get laid… hopefully.

“Let’s try to get near the barricade!” My new man gushes beside me as he grabs my hand and weaves our way towards the front.

Oh, fuck.

We are two rows behind the barricade. Center. Dead middle. Right in front of where I know is Alex’s mic stand.

And then the lights went off.

The scream amplifies as spotlight suddenly hit the stage. One by one, the band members walk out while waving at the crowd. My heart is beating out loud and seems that it wants to get out of my chest and I instinctively wrap an arm on Ben’s bicep for stability. I spotted Nick getting closer at the left side of the stage and our eyes meet. His eyes widen as big as mine probably and soon his lips turn upward into a big smile, waving at me excitedly.

“For Alex?” Nick mouths at me before breaking his eye contact with me and noticing that I am with someone. His smile turns into a frown as he pointedly looks at me.

“He’s a fan,” I mouth back, hoping he can understand my response. Nick didn’t get to respond when the scream of the crowd amplifies and I know who just walked on stage.

There he is. Wearing a black shirt and a jean jacket, his gelled hair is now sporting the quiff. Handsome strong jawline, his cheeks sporting a natural blush, and his pink lips is holding a lit cigarette in captive. He adjusts his guitar strap on his shoulder as he scans the crowd, his red guitar resting on his abdomen. As if just like the old times, his eyes gravitated towards mine and for the first time in months and since that night that we broke up, our gaze connected.

Oh, Lord.

Those warm brown eyes that have light up my darkest days. The same eyes that have gazed longingly at me, that assured me that it will be alright as I go through my worst fears, that cried with me on a sappy movie, that held me captive as I moan his name like a prayer.

The eyes of the man who is my first love and whom I have shared most of my first with.

And like Nick, his eyes widen in shock subtly. Alex’s lips start to open but his stare went to the person beside me and his face forms into a scowl immediately. He took a long drag of his cigarette as he moves forward to his mic stand, now avoiding my gaze.

“Oh my God, I think Alex Turner just looked at me!”

I got brought back to my reality as Ben, who I am with now, says excitedly at my ear.

Oh, boy.

This will be a long night.

The show started. There is nothing much more where I could look at except at him. I have looked at the ceiling. At the security in front. At the heads in front of me as they bop along to the song. At Ben who is grinning like a Cheshire Cat unaware of the daggers the frontman is sending him. God, I’m not your strongest soldier. I could feel his gaze on me at every lyric he sings, and there are times I know he’s purposely accentuating some words which I know he wrote about me.

And now is the song I dread the most of the night.

“This song is about a girl called Arabella! She is right here in the crowd tonight.”

Oh, Alex.

Everyone person screaming and claiming that they are Arabella.

“You know, you kinda dress like Arabella!” Ben says in my ear, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and pulling me further on his side. I stumble and place a hand on his chest, my head turning at the front as it clashes with his shoulder, making me inadvertently look in front of me, which I have connected my stare with at my rockstar ex-boyfriend.

“Oh that boy’s a slag,” Alex scowls at me, singing a bit a part of one of his songs before he starts this one.

Alex never broke his stare at me as he sang the song word for word. Neither did I break our gaze as I can’t even dare to look away.

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

(That’s magic) in a cheetah print coat

(Just a slip) underneath it, I hope

(Askin' if) I can have one of those

(Organic) cigarettes that she smokes

(Wraps her lips) 'round a Mexican Coke

(Makes you wish) that you were the bottle

(Takes a sip) of your soul, and it sounds like

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

And that’s the end of the night.

I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that song was their closing one. Everybody in the arena clapped and cheered loudly as the show came to an end. The band gathers in the middle and took a bow, blowing kisses to the fans cheering them on. Whistles and screams echoed in the room, with some yells of “one more song”, as usual, filled the air.

“You think you can handle one more?”

Oh the way everyone’s voices multiplied and the crowd started to become alive again when the frontman walked back to his microphone stand. My eyes furrow together in confusion as he never does this before.

Alex’s eyes gazes into mine but now his lips are etched into a teasing smirk.

“What are you up to, Alexander,” I mouthed-whisper, narrowing my eyes at him.

But his smirk just widened and God damn, I know that look all too well.

He’s up to no good.

“Okay since you guys have been the best crowd so far on this tour, this one is a new song, unreleased yet. Made it the other day and finished it right now, ‘cause I just found the right inspiration,” Alex pointed at the crowd, specifically at me, and I choked on my own breath.

I really hope it’s not what I think it is, that this song would be about me.

My heart rapidly beats out of my chest and I feel like I’m going to throw up from being anxious. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. It’s just a new song, by my ex-boyfriend. Not all songs are about me.

He must really just be messing with me. This is just torture. He’s just playing a game. This is a classic Alex move.

The thoughts in my mind are racing a million miles per minute. I honestly am getting dizzy because I don’t even know what to think.

This is a mistake. Coming here. Maybe going out with Ben in the first place is a mistake because it’s clear I haven’t moved on from him because Alex has still had this great effect on me after all these months I have convinced myself that I have gotten over him.

I shake my head to try and clear my head and stop myself from spiralling down on dizziness.

“God, you’re so lucky! From all the Arctic Monkeys’ shows I’ve been to, this is the only time they are doing this!” The man beside me gushes, squeezing my shoulders in excitement.

I honestly could just cry now.

“Oh, Ben,” I say in return, biting my lip to contain myself from all these emotions I am having right now.

And the lights went dim once more.

A single spotlight is trained on the frontman of the band, with his cherry red electric guitar strapped on his shoulder. A joyful foreign melody starts to play, and maybe, maybe this will be a happy song.

Alex straightly looks at me, a serious expression now sporting on his handsome features.

I hope he plays us in the car

With your feet up on the dash, yeah

I'd like that, yeah

Oh, no…

“I hope he fucking breaks your heart… I’m just kidding,” he sings while he gives me an innocent puppy look but his mouth curved into a smirk.

“No I’m not,” he continues and shakes his head.

This damn bastard.

I'm over, "I wouldn't if I were yous

And are you sure 'bout the tunes?"

Ooh-ooh-ooh

"And you should get a real job

This is not gonna work out"

Oh my God.

Those were my words to him before… I feel like I just have been stabbed, the guilt flowing freely from the fresh open wounds that these words have created.

I'm gonna write a song, hit single, baby

Something I can do to prove you wrong

Drive you crazy when it's sitting there at Number 1

You never cared for karma, now you understand (Understand)

I'm in your new boy's favourite band

Okay, now this song is about us.

I looked to my left and saw Ben swaying his head along to the music, completely unaware of the emotional turmoil brewing in my chest down to my stomach.

The guilt doubled. Ben does not deserve someone like me. He deserves a far better girl than me. Not this girl who’s still hung up on his ex, the ex who’s in Ben’s favourite band.

So, when you see me on TV

And he's singing all the words, oh

I hope it hurts, yeah

But, you won't say a singlе thing

'Cause he treats you likе dirt, that seems to work

Oh fuck off, Turner.

Would you curse my name?

Would you start a fight?

If my lyrics started playing in your bar tonight?

In the pouring rain, would you stand outside?

After closing time?

That bridge just hits too close too home. I freeze, standing and still locking eyes with Alex, the guilt sitting heavily on my stomach. It seems like I am not the only one who was affected after he sang those lines, even him, he was standing and not moving after saying those lyrics.

The cheers and screams of people sounds distant, seems not to reach my ears and not to register on my brain that I am in a room full of people, probably half who knew I had dated that man on stage. It seems like it was just me and Alex, standing in front of one another, completely lost for words.

He seems like he was snapped out from his train of thoughts as he clears his throat and starts to continue to sing, to finish his song.

I'm gonna write a song, hit single, baby

Something I can do to prove you wrong

Drive you crazy when I'm sitting there at Number 1

You never cared for karma, now you understand (Understand)

I'm in your new boy's favourite band

I cannot hear this any further.

“I-I need to go, Ben,” I hurriedly stammer out to the man I came here with, not even bothering to wait for his reply before I push myself out of the crowd.

Hisses and complaints ensued and all I could do was to utter a quick apology as I made my way out. I see myself out of the arena, my legs moving automatically as it knows its way where to go. However, as I pushed the door that would lead me outside of the arena, I forgot it wasn’t like what it used to be where I will be met with privacy of the backstage, but instead I am met with fans who are waiting outside in front of the arena.

Multiple sets of eyes are trained on me and I suddenly felt the blush creeping up from my neck to settle its way on my cheeks as looks of familiarity start to blossom on their face to being fully aware of who I am.

“Oh my God, is she back with Alex Turner?”

I slammed the door shut and went back inside the arena. My heart starts to race and that creeping feeling of anxiety and self-doubt starts to cloud my heart and mind the way it used to before. It wasn’t as bad as it was before, as maybe I have loved myself more and learned more how to not care about the opinion of others, but the judging stares that I have seen just resurfaced some emotions I have suppressed from before.

I now try to make my way to the familiar direction backstage, a little bit shocked that security personnel were not stopping me despite not having an all access pass, but they just nod in my direction as they let me enter and make myself out of this arena using the other exit.

Finally I saw the exit and sighed a relief, pushing it and I am met with some water droplets from the sky. There are no fans in this exit, only some staff I recognized as they begin to pack up the venue. However, a familiar voice from a distance starts yelling my name, in full volume, making me stop in my tracks.

“For Christ sake, I know you like me chasing you, but peach, we are getting old, my knees hurt. Please stop!”

I whip my head to the direction of the voice and witness Alex in front of me, catching his breath as if he ran a marathon. Droplets of sweat falling from his forehead to his already sweaty clothes he wore on stage.

“What are you doing here,” I whisper in disbelief.

“This is me chasing you and hoping to start a fight and then we make up,” he says proudly, smiling cheekily as if we have not broken up months ago and this is our first ever interaction since that night.

Him acting nonchalantly ignites anger sleeping dormantly deep within my bones and I did not even realise my hands started to raise and hit him squarely on his chest, in which he did not even move the slightest.

Alex’s pink lips stays into an amused smile, watching me push him while sending daggers with my eyes.

“What the fuck is that song all about?!”

“I think it’s pretty self-explanatory, no?” He teases, infuriating me even more.

“My new boy’s favourite band? Really? And our conversation as your lyrics?! Are these all a joke to you!!” I yell loud enough to have my voice heard as the water droplets from the sky turn into thunderstorms.

Alex had enough and gently held my wrist firmly, stopping me from my weak attempts to push him or hit him on his chest. He brought one of my hands in front of his face, kissing the inside of my wrist tenderly, and I melted into his touch and action.

I forgot what I was even angry about.

“I mean you’re new boy looks nice, a bit boring, and I’m sure that’s not your type,” Alex starts the conversation once more and we are back to the infuriating feeling.

I pull away my hands from his touch and scowl at him. I turned my back on him and proceeded to go outside, the pouring rain instantly wetting my coat and my face. I start to walk and disregard Alex’s voice calling out my name.

“Oh come on, love, stop! You’ll get sick! Let’s go inside!” He catches me from behind, holding my arm and stopping me from walking away, but I just wriggle out from his hold and continue to walk forward, not even knowing where I was even going.

“He’s a nice man!” I say, finally stopping and facing him.

He raises his eyebrows at me and a look of ‘agree to disagree’ sports his face. “Yeah, sure. Is he good in bed too?”

I became silent at his question and I looked away from his gaze. My silence is a dead giveaway already.

“You two haven’t? Oh? Oh,” Alex smiles contently, nodding his head in satisfaction. His reaction just brewed annoyance inside of me.

“We are getting there! Getting to know each other. First part of the dating stage!”

“If it makes you feel better, I haven’t had any sex since we broke up too, peach. However, you’re getting to know him on my show? Your ex’s concert?” He smiles in a playful way.

God, he looks so damn beautiful right now, the rain hitting him, droplets of water falling in his face and landing on his cheeks, his hair getting messy and flopping on his forehead, but I wish I could wipe that smirk off his face.

“I didn’t know he’s a fan of yours!” I hissed in response.

From the distance, a figure starts to run forward, and the voice follows by calling out my name. Alex’s expression turned into a frown as he rolls his eyes at the person approaching behind him.

“Hey you okay? I’ve been looking for you everywhere and security actually led me here. Can’t believe I’m even allowed to be here! Feels like any moment I’ll run with any members of the band!” Ben jumps excitedly as soon as he reaches me, not even aware of the man scowling at him on his side.

“Ben, I—”

“Mate, sorry, but we’re having a conversation here.”

Ben’s head whipped as fast as it could be and I saw how his eyes widened, the colour on his face leaving him pale as a ghost and a gasp broke out from the back of his throat. Confusion starts to kick in, as he starts to look between me and Alex, back and forth, trying to connect the dots on why his date is together in the pouring rain with the band member of his favourite band.

As if the light bulb had turned on, his eyes widened in realisation.

“Oh! So the douchebag ex is him,” Ben says, whispering the last word as if not wanting to let the person know we are talking about him.

The him crosses his arm in his chest, glaring at me with amusement painted as his expression, and leaning on one foot making his hip pop towards me in a sassy way.

“A douchebag huh?” Alex continues, still amused.

“Oh oh her words man! I mean, well, I know you’re not a douchebag, you’re a cool one! I’m a big fan of yours!” Ben stutters out, explaning himself that I mentally facepalmed myself.

Can somebody please get me out of here?

“Ben, I’m sorry, but can we talk later?” I say in resignation, just wanting for him to leave so me and Al’s conversation can be done.

Like a good puppy, he nods enthusiastically and without a word, run off from where he came from.

“Oh, he’s boring nice,” the man in front of me comments as soon as the other person was not within our earshot.

“Alex, honestly, I don’t even know what we’re talking about here.”

”I’m sorry.”

He takes one step forward, effectively closing our distance. I look up to see his face, inches away from mine, seriousness taking over his features. The rain has only intensified, instead of chilling and freezing me to the bones, all I could feel is Alex’s warm spurts of breathe fanning my face, and his touch on my arms shooting up electricity on my whole body and jumpstarting my heart to race rapidly.

I missed this. I missed him. I missed us.

“What are you even sorry about?”

“Everything. Just come back to me, please. Come back to me, baby, I know we both know we truly belong to one another. It’s us and it will always be us. Please, tell me you don’t love me anymore as much as I am hopelessly and deeply in love with you, and don’t lie to yourself,” He says lowly, yet I heard all the words clearly despite the thunderstorms breaking in the sky. He held me tightly, his arms snaking on my waist to pull me on his chest, his body warmth negating the cold water pouring from the sky, as we cheesily do this conversation as if we are in some romcom, that all will be well after this.

But this is real life, and life is not a romcom movie.

“Alex, we’re never gonna work out. This is never gonna work out,” I start to insist he starts to open his mouth to rebut, but I continue to speak to shush him.

“It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve someone better, who could better support you, and all I have done the past months before we broke up is make you feel like shit, and that’s not what a partner should be. I should be the one apologising because all I ever wanna say is how proud I am of you and all the success you’re getting, but I’m scared I can’t live up to it, to what you need and what you like, because you’re all this and you could have any person in the world, and—”

“God, just MARRY ME!”

That effectively silenced me, if that’s what Alex is going for.

My mouth hung open as I look up at him, blinking as if that would have it rewind what he just said seconds ago. I didn’t say anything and waited for him to either repeat what Al just said or to retract it.

Alex just scans my face for any indication about my expression to his question. His hands went upwards and now hold my cheeks, his thumbs caressing the apples of my cheeks as he holds my face so I will not be able to look away and focus on him only.

“Just please, marry me. Fuck this, I’ll leave everything just say yes,” Alex once again asks, in all seriousness.

“But Al, I—”

“Do you love me?” He cuts me off.

“Al you know—”

“Just yes or no, baby.”

“Yes, I love you,” I say in all honesty and sincerity. That made Alex’s brown eyes soften, his hold on my face tightening securely.

“I love you too, peach. It has always been you. Okay now, have you ever considered marrying me. Do you want to marry me?” He says softly, leaning in to plant a quick kiss on my forehead.

I swallow my anxiety and the creeping negative thoughts and just went to the flow of my feelings for this man. “I do, but—”

I was silenced once more when Alex shuts me from starting to ramble by pulling me in for a kiss. My lip moves automatically with him, his familiar taste suddenly invading my senses, warmth surging within me. A quiet gasp broke from my lips as he bites my lower lip lightly, his tongue making its way to mine, just like the old times. My body molds with him, our shared breaths syncing, and all of this while we are being continuously drenched by the rain.

“No, ‘buts’, peach. Just you and me. Don’t think about the others nor anything else, ‘cause they don’t matter, yeah? Just you and me,” he says reassuringly as he pulls away slightly to catch our breaths, standing firmly in front of me.

“Just you and me,” I repeat, nodding along with him, and not even knowing what he is saying as I was completely wiped off from a single kiss.

“That is settled. We’re getting married,” Alex says, nodding more, a beautiful smile blossoming on his pink lips as he realised the effect he has on me by that just one kiss.

“We are getting married,” I repeated to him once more.

“Oh fuck, you’re going to be my wife,” Alex says in realisation, both of us calming down and finally realising what just transpired.

“I’m your wife?” I say confusedly, a little bit dizzy of how our conversation went from arguing to this.

“Technically what people will say is you are my Fiancée, but I don't care, you’re my wife. My love. My soulmate,” he says cheekily, wrapping an arm on my shoulder by now.

“Oh please, so cheesy, Alexander,” I playfully roll my eyes as he leads us back to the arena.

“I’m your cheesy husband then,” he counters, squeezing my shoulders.

A comfortable silence settled between us as all that could be heard is our rapid heart beats and the soft pitter patter of the rain on the ground. I lay my head on Alex’s shoulder, looked up at the sky, and smiled at whoever deity is up there for finally answering my prayer.

Finally, at home at last.

─────────────────────────

This is honestly not one of my best works (apologies), as this was really rushed. No concrete solid plot as well. I wrote this for shits and giggles, because I can’t stop listening to this song and when I listen to a song, my mind just creates these scenarios and I just need this scene to get out of my head.

And Happy Pride to everyone! Love always wins 🌈.

Here is the song at bar:

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